The worry of having children

I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I've just spent the day at hospital with my son. He had a minor operation today. He needed a general anesthetic for it. I think its the parents who suffer the most. There is something utterly terrifying watching your child being given an anesthetic and then suddenly drooping, asleep on an operating table (a 10 second job). Once asleep, the parents are literally herded out of the room and told to wait back upstairs till after the op.



My son was number 5 on the list so He and I had to watch 4 other children being wheeled out of the ward for their op and then wheeled back in often recovering from the anesthetic by screaming on and on. Its gut wrenching.



I was already emotional by the time my son was taken down. During the op I had to keep hiding in toilets as I was sobbing constantly. My mum died 2 years ago during a fairly straight forward procedure, under a general anesthetic and even though my son's case bore no comparison, my heart was quite literally in my mouth.



He's completely recovered now. In fact he is outside playing football with his brother and sister. As for myself I've got my eye on a nice glass of red wine, a very very large piece of lemon meringue pie with lots of cream and 'The Young Victoria'. Drink, food and a lovely, sentimental romantic film should sort me out.



Its definitely true though, kids can literally worry you to death!

Graduation day and guilty mother syndrome

My son is getting very excited - its his Graduation ceremony next Wednesday evening. The smart trousers and shirt are out ready to be ironed and his shoes are polished.

My son keeps referring to this momentous event as his gradulation - he can't say it properly because he's only 4 and is graduating from nursery school (it must be an American thing to do. I'm sure the British don't usually make such a fuss). The conversations just keep getting stranger, such as who is going and who is not and why they will or won't be there. My son thinks one child is not graduating (she isn't old enough) because she hasn't got a bone in her leg. Another child is only 3 and therefore most definately will not be there. It gets more prestigious by the minute.

There's going to be a disco. I'm dreading it. I don't dance. I suppose I'll be expected to move along to the Cbeebies hit list.

It all seems a bit ridiculous, solemnly watching a group of 4 year olds graduating! Personally, this is one event that I wouldn't mind missing out on my social calendar. I'm only going because the other parents are going and I think its quite possible that many of the parent's at my son's nursery are only going because everyone else is.

My son hasn't got a clue what its all about. I've already had to explain its not his birthday or the birthday of one of his friends.

I hope I get a free photo out of it. Probably not though. More than likely there will be a hired photographer there and extortionate prices will be charged for photos of the event and that little guilty feeling will be gnawing at me, telling me if I don't spend my money I will be a bad, guilty mother.

illness

I'm shattered, feeling under the weather and generally feeling grumpy. My children react by being bouncier than they normally are. They seem to be louder, faster, quarelling more and stroppier. Or is it me? Probably, I feel rubbish but the world doesn't want to stop to let me rest.